Eli-isms

I better fit another post in before the lil' guy turns 3!!!  (Who know he may magically get boring on us...)

*Mixed fireworks (what I call them) and firecrackers (what his great grandparents call them) and just called them "FIREWORKERS"  (oh, and a clap is no longer a clap.   It's a FIREWORKER.) 
*His great grandparents had a water dispenser in their fridge (we don't) so he was able to get a glass of water himself.   The first time he filled a cup he took a step back, looked at what he had done and said, "not bad".
*One day when he got up from one of his more destructive naps (we had a lot of those the last couple of weeks) he said, "Mommy why don't you clean everything up?" I said, "what are you going to do?" He said, "I'm going to go watch TV and do nothing."   Hmmmmm...no comment.  (don't worry, he DID clean up) 
* He seems to think that "faster" is better.   He's made several comments like, "I slept faster today" and "I ate faster" and "I played with toys faster".   (FYI his hero is a race car)

* After yet another destructive nap he said, "look Mom.  I picked everything up off the floor". 
* When he received a snack of goldfish crackers he said, "That's SWEET".
* He's really into mixing expressions we use and telling us WE'RE wrong.   My fave is, "See you later crocodile, alligator in while. " 
* When Anna babbles (screaming in excitement is more like it) he says, "that was beautiful Anna" as if she was singing.
* Yet ANOTHER "nap" (I am thinking the word nap may be in quotes from here on out) I came up and he quickly told me that "a bug SPIT on the window"  (wasn't him...nope.) I asked him where the bug was now and he showed it to me napping in the corner of the window sill.  (he was a goner)
* After he burped he said, "excuse me" (he really does have good manners) and I replied, "you're excused".  He said, "No, mom.  STOP.  I'm saying it." 
* We attempted to clean his grimy toenails he told us not to worry about it.   He'd get new ones at the store. 
*When we were done playing downstairs I told him we needed to clean up.   His response, "No, I'm a monster and monster's make messes." 
* While playing with Todd he pretended to shoot him.   He then told him, "It's alright.  I'll give you a bandaid."   (I thought I'd give him a talk on reality but decided maybe I'd wait)
* Eli wanted to water the flowers one day (it has become his chore) and I said "you don't need to worry about it.  God watered them last night".   He said, "he did?"  My response, "Yeah, there was a storm and you slept right through it!"  (he is scared of thunder).   His response, "THANK YOU!".     I said, "Don't thank me, thank Jesus".   So he stopped what he was doing and prayed.   (INSERT: PROUD PARENT MOMENT) 
*  Speaking of praying....he prays pretty much every night for his cousin, Roman.   The other night Roman got the boot because he prayed "When I poop, I wish it wouldn't hurt when it comes out. "  Amen, son.  Amen.